"You lead me / by the water still / you lay me down to rest / upon your faithfulness..."
These words and the gentle strum of a guitar are the words and melody that wake me every morning. Typically my reaction is one of joy and peace one of scrambling to turn off my alarm before it wakes my sister...
Hello beautiful day!
Each morning I get up and do the usual things - choose an outfit, slap on some makeup, grab a glass of water... AND eat breakfast {my favoritest thing in the morning}. When our family is "on-schedule" we meet before my father leaves for work and have family devotions together. I make breaskfast for the family {have I mentioned how much I love this meal?} and then proceed to my personal quiet time.
From then on out...
Good luck trying to keep track of my life. I don't. Siri does. And even then we have some issues. It's been more lately that I've had a consistant schedule, but pretty much every day is different. I live by the "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of living that drives some insane, and rightfully so. Pros and cons to both modes of life.
And here is where I change the subject. Who really cares about my morning routine? It really isn't a routine, unless routine is spontaneous, continually different and... but enough about that. I wanna ask some questions and I wanna get some answers.
If you're a single girl reading this blog, listen up, this one's for you.
Living with your family, living by yourself, we all face the question "what to do?" How do I know if I'm doing the right thing? Should I work at Target or teach piano lessons, live at home or move out? Bake bread or go to college, sew or write, work part time or full time? Wait around for a guy or 'get out into the flow...'?
Questions, questions, questions pepper my brain and I start to get fearful. I know God has a plan for my life. I want to accomplish, through Him, His purposes for my life, but how in the world do I figure it out?
This is an issue I've been thinking about a lot the past several months/year. I have quite a few thoughts I'd love to share with you, but first I want to hear what you think.
Step out into the open and comment. Reveal yourself, or remain anonymous it's up to you. But share how you have dealt or are dealing with these questions, and any thoughts you might have...
OR
Share what you're doing right now...
Either/or but not neither. :)
I've never commented on here before...and I'm sure you have no idea who I am, but I stumbled across your blog awhile back and have really enjoyed it! As for my thoughts on single womanhood, I have lots of them :). I'm still in high school, but am seriously considering what god wants for me in the upcoming years. I believe that daughters are under their father's authority until marriage and should be apart of their present family. How that will look in each family will be different based on the daughters gifts/interests and the dad's preferences. I don't believe thee should be hard and fast rules about what a girl can and cannot do. I think daughters should consider her interests/God-given talents and consult her parents on how to use her time in the best way that would bring honor to God. I've done a lot of thinking in this area recently.....and have tried to come up with some general guidelines as I pursue my future. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
ReplyDelete...excuse the spelling errors: I am writing on an iPad...and it is difficult to type!
ReplyDeleteI've never commented on here either...I found your blog through the Wissmans and Bethany's blogs. I am almost 30 and single, currently at home again for the past year and a half, after being away for 3 years. I know and understand completely where you are coming from. And I really don't have answers. I am in a quandary as to know what to do myself. For a long time, I always thought a daughter should live at home, under her father's authority, until she marries. But that can pose some problems. First, what if you never marry? You need to be able to take care of yourself. Secondly, my Dad is one to push his daughters to be a little more independent and responsible. He looks at the authority issue like this: even though you are away from home, that doesn't mean that you don't come under my authority. For me, being away was a huge growing experience in a lot of different ways. Now, being back home as an adult, with adult siblings, trying to figure out where I 'fit in' has been very difficult for me. So I am still waiting, wondering how long, or what I need to do now. I don't know many girls my age who are still single. And neither of my parents really know what it is like because they were both married with children by the time they were my age. So I look forward to 'hearing' what you have to say.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your feedback. I'm in the process of writing my post and would love to use an excerpt from your comment? Would you mind?
DeleteThanks!
Those are all questions that have gone through my mind as well…I am 27, single, and still live at home. Right now I have peace that this is where I am supposed to be. Life is full with working part-time, helping with a Good News Club and running another one, as well as other various ministry opportunities. My aim is to live poured out for Christ! But, you are right about asking "at what point should I be out on my own?" Personally, I am so glad I have not missed being around as my younger siblings grow up - we have SO much fun together!! Looking forward to seeing what you think on this topic.
ReplyDeleteI've faced these questions, for sure.
ReplyDeleteAnd the following is what I've personally found, along with the questions I'm still dealing with:
I graduated last May. God specifically led me to pursue photography...which I am now in the process of doing through the New York Institute of Photography. As far as how I figured it out: I sought Him through prayer and His Word and prayed that He would reveal what He wanted me to do...resolving that I'd do whatever He wanted as long as He would show me.
As far as what to do day-by-day...that's harder to answer. I live with my parents...no siblings. My mom works and my dad has a disability that makes him unable to work. So I do a lot around our home...laundry, cooking, whatever needs done. So my days do vary some.
Regarding some of the other questions and the struggle to know the right thing to do. It can be a struggle, for sure! I just trust that God has a plan for me/my life and He will lead and guide me accordingly. He will be faithful to show us what He wants each of us to do if we seek Him with a humble, seeking heart [Jer. 29:11-13]. :)
Been enjoying your posts, Anna!
I'm not single anymore, but I hope you won't mind if I comment about the lessons I learned during my single years. Unlike the other ladies who have commented, I did attend college away from home and graduated from law school last year. At times during these years I questioned if where I was was really where I was supposed to be, but every time I began to question God literally began throwing open doors in confirmation. As I become a wife in January I know that my life is heading in a different direction - one that I have waited for for a long time and embrace wholeheartedly. While my law school friends think I'm crazy for going through law school and then staying home, my fiance and I both agree that those years were completely worthwhile, and a period of time during which God taught me so much. My suggestion would be to take one day at a time, one year at a time, and leave yourself open to where God might be looking to use you. It might end up being in a place that you don't necessarily think fits into your "life plan," but God's plans are always greater than ours!
ReplyDeleteYes! Thank you so much for commenting. I forgot to mention on the post that comments from girls/ladies who have gone through this season to comment!
DeleteHave a blessed day!
My name is Maria I'm 20,
ReplyDeleteI know that the Lord has given me His word so many times concerning,
my future.I also do believe He keeps directing me to stay home at this time.
I'm very excited to see His timing in it all!
You probably know some of my thoughts already... :) My years at home were the years God used to shape and mold me in His character. I still look back and wonder at my stubbornness and the many months that I feel like I wasted because I was not under God's authority in all areas of my life...but God is continually patient, and He thought it best for me to be at home 27 years before bringing me to live in Cambodia.
ReplyDeleteAt home, I was always incredibly busy because it seemed like there were always people to help, people to love, people to nurture and look after- and I loved those years and loved that I could be available like that.
I feel now that our specific job description as a servant of God is to obey His commission to us and make disciples. This can be done at home with our families, with our neighbors, friends, different sectors of society (people who have so much in common with each other that the gospel is able to easily spread among them), and unreached people groups around the world!
I had to really think about my purpose in life first (God's glory), then come to an understanding of what His glory is (His bride) and then conclude that loving and obeying Him is absolutely first in my life.
:)
Love you!
The question of the decade! I grew up in a very strong Christian home. My parent's always challenged me to make my faith my own, and the expectation for me and my brothers was that Christ calls us to excellence, and we would pursue that in all aspects of our lives-- including academics. So, when I graduated from high school (after being home schooled my whole life), I moved 3,000 miles away to attend college for four years. Those four years have been some of the most formative years of my life. I learned how to find my own church community, establish routine, eat healthy, and be friends with types of people that I would never have been able to rub shoulders with. I am a senior now, double majoring in History and Biochemistry, and I am facing that same question. I could easily and happily go on to deeper academic study (I'm interested in medical school or law school), or I could find a teaching job, do some international work, or move closer back to home.
ReplyDeleteOur society values independence and opportunity so much-- and from birth, we're told that we can be whoever we want to be when we grow up! But our society often doesn't realize that there is an "ultimate career" as C.S. Lewis calls it, that all other careers indirectly support: motherhood and raising a family. What a noble calling and privilege.
I think there is a wide variety of choices-- good, Christ-centered choices-- that single women can make. But search the Word of God and seek His will! When I was leaving for college, I had one of my peers at church tell me that I was going to Hell because I was pursuing higher education. I needed to stop being rebellious and stay at home, "waiting for my mate." But what I find encouraging in the Bible is that there ARE so many examples of women who are working, who bless those around them. Jesus had many followers who were women, who had a skill that they used to raise money for his ministry! Another widely known example would be Lydia, who was a merchant of sorts. So my personal philosophy is that, if you have the opportunity and the desire to continue your education, do it! But also be cautious. C.S. Lewis (love that guy...) wrote a phenomenal essay on education called "Learning in Wartime." In it, he says there need to be Christians in academia. But we need to be careful there, because it can so easily become our number one priority, above everything else. And I think that's applicable to pursuing a career as well. For men and women.
Anyways, I'd better stop before I write a book that no one really wants to read. ;)
I struggle with the same thing. How much work is to much... how much time should I spend at home helping with the little ones...how long do I continue on doing the same thing before I give up and live the life everyone else is living (kinda joking about that one. Kind of)... and the list goes on and on.
ReplyDeleteIt seems so easy for some to be that perfect stay at home daughter. When their parents are involved in a ministry that they can help with or maybe their parents have a job that they can help with. But then there are others of us who's dads work away from home and our moms lives completely revolve around their young children. So we help with the littles when needed, work our own job on the side and help with local ministries on our own but then what? What else are we to do.
Anyways those are just some things i've been thinking of lately would love to hear your thoughts!
Thanks, Anna. I have been reading a lot of such blogs; of those who classify as "stay-at-home daughters". My parents did NOT encourage that, even though they welcomed all 4 of us to stay living at home until marriage. None of us did, for various reasons, and they struggled on some levels(me being the firstborn, yeah, emotional struggles when that subject came up) but for adult life, our goals were to be studying or working, and at least striving for it. And they would help with that if need be; suggestions of where to look for work or what to study; to use our gifts in that way. I personally don't have a problem with continuing to live at home until marriage, or even to do so through adulthood until parents die. I knew women who did this before. But ALL of them had jobs and lives outside the family so that they weren't helpless adult orphans eventually. We need to be out in the community either way; working, volunteering, studying, and using our gifts for God's glory. When we do that, He provides our needs, whether it's a husband or not. I married at 28 and when I was 36, my husband went home to be with Jesus. I had seasons as a housewife, even though we didn't have kids. Most of that time I worked part-time, but there were full-time seasons, and I am thankful to have been in one when his illnesses were showing, and then his death. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThe famous question! :) I've never commented on here I don't think, but I've read your blog for a few years. I found it through the Wissmanns. I have met them a number of times! :) I'm 22, and still live at home with my parents. The only one left!. :P Its not always fun that my sisters 5 and 8 years younger than me have moved away to go to school and I am still here and not in school. But for me, I have chosen to stay on here for practicality mostly. I work full time. And I could get my own place, but I don't particularly like living alone though I'm sure I could manage. I also have done a bunch of traveling over the last year and so it's not quite practical to have my own place if I'm just going to leave it for a month or two at a time.
ReplyDeleteI do not think we should sit around waiting for life to start once "prince charming" arrives on the scene. Life doesn't start then. It goes on. For my self I want to be living my life happily and if God wills that my path joins with another, so be it! Sometimes I wish it would be sooner rather than later. But I know God has me at the specific place I am at in life for a reason. But yeah, no one can tell you what you should do Anna, it's between you and God. If you feel the need to move on than that could be God calling you to something else. There are times when I have a restlessness in my soul and I know that God is saying that He has something for me to do. A couple times that has been ministering or studying in Europe and reaching out to others. God is full of surprises, just be open to His plan for your life and see where He takes you!
24 and still single...I know exactly what you are talking about! Sometime I wonder what is going on and I think of this song...I love it!
ReplyDeleteGod told Abraham to rise, and take his little boy
To a lonely place they called Moriah's hill
God said, "There you'll sacrifice your precious pride and joy"
"But you'll be blessed in ways I cannot tell
He said, "Lord I trust Your perfectness as You rule from up on high"
"And though this trial is pressing us, this is how I will reply"
Chorus:
If this is what God wants
If this is what God says
Then who I am to doubt
Or try to figure out this circumstance?
If this is what God chose for me
In all His majesty
Then surely I can trust and lean
On what God says
Verse:
Sometimes the storms we face in life are not what we would chose
If we have the power to choose them for ourselves
We would take the easy road thinking there's no way to lose
But we would miss the blessing of the Father's will
So we must trust His perfectness as He rules from up on high
And when those trials are pressing us this is how we should reply
Chorus
Can't wait to read the update on this post!
ReplyDelete