Today death stings, but it won't always.

I feel such sadness. I feel such joy.

My heart wants to break, my heart wants to sing.

My dad always says "pain and happiness run on parallel tracks and often arrive at the same time." My heart feels this ,and then doesn't know what to feel.

Actually no, my heart knows what to feel but my mind often tries to tell my heart that it can't dwell on joy and pain simultaneously. I try to justify the pain while also avoiding the joy.

Jesus wept fully knowing eternity.

My heart is rooted in truth, that I know for sure. To allow my heart to be sad is not negating truth, but rather its allowing my heart to stay soft in order for the truth to stay firm. If I ignore the pain I allow what is a real emotion to go unaddressed. And in my experience pain left alone builds to bitterness, resentment and doubt. 

My sister put it beautifully.

"Having days to reflect on the pain is important. Taking time to remember the goodness of God in the midst of difficult moments is biblical."

Today I will not wallow, but I will lament. 

I will always remember to never forget. #13years #AHB