She can't spell, and she can't read, but she can cook and sew. Her frail voice spoke disappointedly as she explained that she'd been pushed through school at a young age because she didn't learn like the other kids. Her tone changed to longing as she shared a desire to learn how to spell big words.
"I'm a fast learner" she declared, "and I'm a good memorizer. That's the way I know some words. And Anna, I taught myself how to crochet doilies by looking at the pictures."
My heart broke.
Her voice cracked on the phone. She was found wandering in the rain and taken to a psychiatric hospital. She had no where to go, she was alone, desperately longing to hear a familiar voice. 20 years addicted to heroine, now 20+ years clean. Her eyes were shining several months before as she shared her story of how God rescued her from addiction - but choices have consequences, and we aren't given the opportunity rewind our story.
Tears began to fall.
She has a record, fair or unfair it's hard to tell, but it'll haunt her for the rest of her life. Two pet dogs provide sanity as she juggles limited funds, insecure housing and constant scrutiny from every landlord, every application. Her climbing credit score would now plummet due to unforeseen world events, a lengthened eviction and, as some would say, "plain bad luck." But she's a fighter and won't give up. A warm home is a luxury this woman is determined to find for herself.
I dry tears and dig deep into my soul.
These women won't give up. They won't back down. Sure, they won't make the history books. They won't be known by anyone but creditors, social workers and beloved pets. But these women will strive every day of their lives for a better existence. An existence combined with failure, poor choices, strength, courage and a remarkable drive to never surrender to defeat.
Oh the lessons I can learn from these women living in the shadows. Lessons I could learn it I take the time to sit down and listen to their stories, to walk alongside of them. We learn best when we learn from each other. When we lay aside differences, opinions and pasts, and listen to understand, to connect, to learn.
Some struggle through poor past decisions, a hard childhood, a string of circumstances I don't understand. But when I open my eyes to see and my ears to hear, I find remarkable women I'm blessed to know. And I'm lucky to learn from them.
