Grandpa

It has been a wish of mine for my grandpa to hold my baby in his arms and pray.

I love when my grandpa prays. It's like heaven bends down. His faith shines strong and mine grows.

Now he's with Jesus. No need for prayers.

I lament not hearing his spoken prayers over my life and those that would maybe belong to me. But then I was reminded that those prayers were already spoken. My grandpa prayed in faith. My grandpa prayed for me by name and and for my children, because God already knows their names (or if they'll ever even be).

What hope I have because of faith. Because of heaven. Because of prayers of years past to be fulfilled in years to come.

My heart finds comfort.

I'm sure that Jesus seated my grandpa right next to the heroes of old. Pretty sure he couldn't grow a beard, and he may not have slain a giant or seen walls fall, but my grandpa lived by faith and went to battle every single day on his knees.

Grandpa had the kind of faith that slays sin. The kind of faith that watches walls of bitterness crumble. The kind of faith that carries a man through life and straight into the presence of God.

xoxo, Grandpa, I miss you, but not forever.

New Year, New Goals

We ordered coffee. We plopped our backpacks on the ground. 
We settled in for our first Jessica + Anna Goal Chat. 

(her name isn't Jessica, it's just my nickname)

Jessie, her real name, asked lots of questions.  She pulled out her notebook and began to jot down my theme, dreams and plans or the lack of plan. I had already set goals for the new year and was on-track with systems to keep them. But two things stood out that were too overwhelming for me to tackle on my own.

Education.

Housing.

Formal education or self-education. For the last ten years I've had this question spinning through my brain. Several times I thought I would enroll in classes. I've done some research, but mostly it was overwhelming. I made college accounts and began to talk to people, applied for government aid and about submitted an application. This year was the closest I've been yet. But I just couldn't make the final step jsut yet.

I have wondered if it was just fear of the unknown, not wanting debt, the giving up of my schedule. I've tried to be open and not just pretend that it wasn't myself getting in the way of formal education. But I don't think it is. I will tackle the hard when I know it's my next step. I thrive in the discomfort of the unknown. This is different. 

So we came up with a plan. Formal education may be in my near future. It might not be. But regardless, I'm not standing still. I've got purposeful action steps that will lead me in the direction that I feel God has created me for.

I'm excited.

Mostly excited for more goal sessions with my favorite Jessica.

But also for the unknowns that I know God has a hold of.