More tears than smiles.
Then the message came, more truth than... well, it was all truth.
I fought the truth hard, tried to make myself the exception. But the thing I've noticed in my relationship with God, when I wrestle with Him He always wins. But the wrestle is needed, because I refuse to have blind faith. I refuse to just say that "God is good" unless I actually and truly believe it. This morning I doubted and I shared my doubt with God Himself. I worshiped anyway because I know that what is true has not to do just with what I feel. So I searched through the fear and the doubt and proclaimed truth. Or maybe I listened to the truth being sung all around me even if I couldn't say the words myself.
I was driving home reflecting on the truth that was preached. God Provides. Everything, always.
Do I believe that? This past weekend, if I'm going to be honest was really hard especially as a single girl. More tears than smiles.
A country song was playing on the radio Buy Dirt and as I was listening I began to think of a slideshow I would create should I find someone someday (dreaming of a cute little farm-ette with a couple babies - just keeping it real, my friends). Journeying together with someone through the highs and lows of life. Then I stopped right there.
Why wait?
Why wait to make the slideshow. God provides right now, not just if I was to someday find a man.
I began to think of the photos that would make up this last year, proof that my Jesus provides. This reel was born out of that.
Jehovah Jirah: God Provides, God is enough.
For me. Right now.
Tonight the tears may flow again. But I am learning to embrace the idea that I can feel both joy and contentment AND sadness and longing at the same time.
Right in the middle of all those feelings is Jesus - promising to be enough for me. Promising to provide. For me.
In your life right now what is proof that God provides? I challenge you, make this quick reel - just 27 photos. Married, single, somewhere in-between or nowhere close, focus for a few moments on Jirah.
