The Ugly

Jesus, come quickly. Save this world again. Restore life. Restore memory.

In a text exchange with my brother... "They [parents] love when you come over." "Yeah, dad does, but mom doesn't know me."

I sobbed. I wasn't expecting that. It hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. I texted a friend, I needed to express. I needed to just dump the grief and not be told about the joy on the other side.

I know the silver lining is there. I search for, and find, beauty every single day. But some days I need to take the time and acknowledge that ugly is there, too. And it’s healing to sit in the ugly and be upset about it. Because this isn’t how it was supposed to be.

We don't stay there. Of course not. This life, despite the ugly, is too full of beauty, too full of little moments of joy and redemption. 

The beauty is waiting. 

And in a few moments I'm ready to find it again.